Happy and Sad Update

[voxwoman]

Happy:
Kidlet was accepted into the Academy for Performing Arts - the magnet school for the county! It's not only a performing arts school, but also has a very rigorous academic curriculum, because they are preparing the kids for college. We are ecstatic about this :-D

Sad:
Tomorrow we move Dad into the Special Care unit in his assisted living place. He is aware of it at some level, and it really is time for him to move there - he was sharing with me (during the hour-long wait in the opthamologist's office) that some of the staff are short with him and "treat him like a child". The nurse I was talking to yesterday when she showed me the room he's moving into said something that the staff and residents in the unit are more patient and understanding with people like Dad, and are more amenable to hearing him ramble about disjointed subjects. It was starting to get on my nerves in the office. Mostly because he kept talking about things that I believe are personal and private topics (like financial stuff and medical stuff) in a very loud voice.

And then he starts having this conversation about me and my work, and I realize he's about 30 years in the past. There is much more and it's playing with my emotions and has been all week, as Saturday draws closer. I don't think it's going to be too bad, but he will have to give up some of his stuff because while the room is larger than the one I saw 2 weeks ago, it's smaller than what he's in now. I think the books he took with him from Virginia that have been in the closet for the past 5 years without him ever touching them need to go, for example.

I'm just really glad my brother is coming up to help with this. The physical aspect of the move isn't too bad - he's only got 4 pieces of furniture that are large/heavy, but the emotional bit of this is very hard.

Comments

[saminz.livejournal.com]

Congrats to the young lady :-)!

And that is sad indeed... Not sure who I feel more sorry for, you or the old man.
It must be so impossibly depressing to notice everyone else "treat you like a child" again, and not really knowing why! And having things taken away, and whatnot...

On the other hand, it can get pretty much impossible treating such a person and NOT hurting them, and for their own good.

I honestly think people who have a strong christian background can do this best. Living life to the very end, no matter under what conditions, can be such a tragedy. But clearly anything else is so sinful it's simply unheard of to wish for anything else... Not sure what the jewish dogma is, but probably something similar?
Besides, so many of us plain refuse to even imagine that something like this could ever happen to them - and after it has, you just have to navigate on whatever communication is still possible, however unbalanced...

I think you "children" are doing the very best you can. But the hurt it involves to see someone who was once a proud and distinct personality just fade away must be one of the most painful things in life indeed.

Even now, none of us can even imagine going against our dad's wishes in just about anything. We're pretty much trained to just navigate around his ego carefully. But one day, who knows....? It's going to be warfare, for all concerned, so much is certain. I totally dread the moment.

[voxwoman.livejournal.com]

Well, it doesn't always end this way, you know. Mom's demise was awful in a completely different way. But it was a lot faster. Less than a year from start to finish.

[maevele.livejournal.com]

When my grandmother was moved to the Special care unit, it was actually a huge relief, because she really needed staff that was really oriented on dementia/alzheimer's.

[voxwoman.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm hoping I'll feel better about it after my next visit. Right now, I'm simply exhausted.

[thewrongcrowd.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

May this be easier than it seems. It really will be a better place for your dad. And some peace of mind for you.

[voxwoman.livejournal.com]

Well, it could have gone a lot worse than it did. We're now trying to figure out his finances which is just giving me a headache.